The First Rule of Sex Toys: You Do Not Talk About Sex Toys.

NOTE: This post is very wordy and decidedly unsexy. Enter at your own risk.

I know this is a blog post on an adult product site, so I should be taking this opportunity to optimize SEO and convert your traffic into a sale — all the good business jargon. I have bills to pay, after all. But believe it or not, I didn't establish this site just to take my profits and run. Although, admittedly, that would be much easier for me (and my creditors), not to mention far less stressful.

Truth is, everything you aim to achieve has second-order effects, even if conceived with the best intentions. For me, that includes this site, which I established in order to help people open up about intimacy. The feeling of closeness, of wanting and being wanted, is essential for a person's wellbeing. Arguably, much of the alienation experienced within developed societies today stems from a stigmatization of close relationships. Or, more technically, the commodification of them.

The name of the game in human societies is interdependence. It's nearly impossible for anyone to survive in isolation. When we are physically isolated from others, we also experience physical pain. Loneliness quite literally kills us, leading to early death compared to people with multiple close relationships.

People today still crave intimacy as much as ever, but it's harder to find because so much social interaction has been confined to the internet. Online culture has led to the rise of para-social relationships, dating apps, and the surge in popularity of adult content creation on sites such as OnlyFans. In-person interaction isn't "good enough" compared to the instant gratification people feel when they receive attention from a famous influencer or a beautiful person they'd never have met in their daily life.

Ironically, sex shops have also played their part in the erosion of relationships. I firmly believe that capitalism isn't, or shouldn't, be the end of modern-day sexuality. But I understand how some narratives created by the adult entertainment industry can come across that way. Sexual toys and fantasies are not replacements for a fulfilling relationship. If you do find yourself purchasing one of our products, I would be very pleased. But it would only be the first step towards developing tastes that you could share with others.

That's also how I view the function of this site: serving as a tool to get to where you want to go, not as an object of fulfillment in itself. Sex toys were useful to me at one point, but now I've mellowed out on them. Maybe that will change someday, but not anytime soon.

If you don't believe me, then I'll share a story of my own.

If you've ever second-guessed your decision to buy an adult product, then you're not alone. I felt ashamed and doubtful for the first couple of weeks after I had the idea. I still felt that way even after I decided to go through with the purchase, but my curiosity outweighed whatever anxiety was holding me back.

I had just left home for university, but I hadn't been with anyone yet, man or woman. The idea of personally having intercourse was both an aspiration and a burden. Knowing that many of my peers were also seeking sex only heightened my sense of intimidation. This was confirmed for me when my roommate regularly asked me for the room over the weekend. I always needed to ask friends to hang out just to have a place to sleep.

As you might expect, what ended up happening is that I grew frustrated at my own shyness. I was eighteen, afraid, and terribly horny. I knew what I had to do.

I purchased a prepaid card with cash because my parents were still on my credit card. Using the prepaid card, I bought the cheapest toy I could afford — a pink Cal Exotics Butterfly Kiss. I picked it up from an Amazon Locker and shoved the package in my backpack before anyone could see. I had to wait for the dorm showers to clear out completely to use it, so I could only try it out late at night.

And try it out I did. Except I wasn't using it correctly because I hadn't figured out how my G spot worked. Only the clit stimulation was doing anything for me, and that still felt too weak. I ended up throwing away the toy by the end of the semester before anyone could discover it. I also met my first boyfriend, who's still in my group chat of university friends but who I've been avoiding for the good part of a decade. It turns out that when all you have in common is wanting to fuck for eight months, you eventually get tired of each other.

Over the years, I've invested in some toys which appeal to me. I actually own three of the products that I sell: the 2-in-1 Clit Sucker, the Rose Toy, and the Magic Wand Vibrator. They are really, really good. They take me to the edge of searing psychic bliss, like I'm playing host to some divine communication. But they can no longer take me all the way there. As I grow older, I realize that I need to be with someone to make that happen. I need to belong to someone, to want and be wanted. That is the realization I hope to share with you.

EDIT: People have said that this conclusion sounds like I am disavowing sex toys altogether. I wanted to clarify that I'm not using them at the moment because their novelty has worn off for me, but I definitely think other people could benefit from enjoying them.

In the beginning, I was like any other kink enthusiast in that I used toys frequently on myself and my partners. However, after years had passed, I began to associate my sexuality more with relationships rather than instant pleasure. Now that I'm single, I miss the emotional connection I used to have during sex, and I believe that physical stimulation isn't enough to keep me satisfied anymore. Although, I would still use sex toys if a partner were joining me. My experience with these products will probably not mirror yours, but I thought I should share in case anyone could relate to it. I may also dedicate a post to couples' toys in the future.

Signed, Site Admin